SAHM, Working Mom, Wife... How do you prioritize?

If you have read any of my blogs before, you know that my primary job is a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) to my two little girls. Caralee is 2.5 years old and Jayelle is 15 months old. They are my joy. My love. My reason for living. I finally felt complete when I became a mom. These girls have changed me in ways that I did not know needed changed. They have filled my heart with so much love that I do not know how I existed before earning the title of "Mom".

But this does not mean that I neglect every other area of my life. While these two little girls need me and need me for a lot of their well-being, it does not mean that I do not have time for anything else in my life.

I just spent 9 of the last 11 days at work. Away from my girls. Away from my husband. Away from my dogs. And while I was blessed enough to come home at night and sleep in my own bed, next to my husband, with my girls in their rooms beside mine, I was exhausted most evenings. A couple of nights I was too tired to even keep my eyes open while I was home. I found it very tough for me to switch on the "mom-mode" after leaving an 8-10 hour day at the office.

There were times when I wished I was able to just go home and snuggle my girls again. When I left for work in the mornings, Jayelle was increasingly showing her displeasure at my leaving every morning. She would wake up early just to see me before I left. Then hold tight to me when I hugged her goodbye in a way that made it tough to go out the door without crying.

I know being able to stay home with my children is a true blessing and I am very thankful that I am able to do this while my husband works outside the house. But the days that I do work it is just a constant reminder of how torn I am about having my career.

See, I love what I do. I love that I have been able to have the same career for over 15 years of my life. That I feel like I am making a difference in peoples lives through my work. But, if I were to be honest with myself (and you), I would give it up today if I had to in order to spend time with my girls if they needed me.

Yes, that is probably tough for a lot of people to understand. Even though I only typically work 3 days (in a row) a month, that still puts a strain on my family life. My husband and I have to rearrange our "normal" path of living in order to allow me to be away for a few days and continue my career. It requires a lot of love between us for me to do what I do. As well, it also requires a lot of family support in order to help me work when my husband works.

Sometimes I think about how I do have the best of both worlds in a way. I am able to be a SAHM to my little beauties, but also have a career. Each one of my jobs has me thankful that I have the other one. Thankful that I am able to "do it all" so to say.

Sometimes it is hard for moms [and dads] to make the decision to work once they have kids or to stay home with the kids. While having two incomes in the family is a true blessing and helps so much with the bills and everyday expenses of living; it can also be a true blessing to stay home with the kids while they are young.

There is a reason we have a choice though. Not one decision is right for everyone or every family. I think too often we put some moms down for working outside the home and having someone else raise the kids for the. But at the same time, we also put down the moms who stay home saying they do not do anything and just sit around the house all day and have no true meaning.

We need to learn that there is many different ways of doing things and bringing up our kids. But that has to be a decision between the parents to do what they feel is best for them and their family.

Either way, it requires sacrifices. There are times when I am too tired after a day with the girls and when my husband gets home I just want a few minutes to do nothing by myself (can we say pee alone without an audience? LoL). That requires an understanding with my husband and I to understand each others needs. He understands that I have a million things going through my mind most days trying to ensure that the girls have food daily, we all have clean clothes and sheets on our beds, we have a grocery list that eventually gets taken care of, that the dogs have food and water, we all get outside to play but have things to do inside when the temperature is too high for us.... The list could go on and on and on...

And sometimes - because of this list - my husband and I get too tired to put each other first, before the girls. It happens. No this in not the order in which God tells us to life (God, Spouse, Children), but it happens. Trust me. There is not just some magic button to push and turn off the "mom brain" to switch on the "wife brain" and be fine. It takes time. Takes relaxing. Takes understanding between my husband and I that we know this is only a season. We know that we will put each other before the children again when they are not so young and need so much attention.

There will be times when we can take a break from being parents and focus on each other more. While I would love to have dates weekly, it is just not possible. So we take advantage of the times that we do get together. Even if it is just snuggling together watching TV after putting the girls to bed. That is okay some times. It takes a lot of time, energy and support to raise children and take care of a house. Which means sometimes we do not get dates like we would like to. But that is okay!!

You have to do what works for you. If a date night is when the girls go to bed and we start a fire and sit outside just talking, then okay. No one said you have to spend money to go on a date. It can be as simple as just laying together reading. Or watching a movie. Just being together after long days. Ending the day in each others arms. Giving each other the understanding of what they have going on in their minds that may be taking priority....for a season.

Please know, I love my husband more than words can describe. And I know that he loves me like that as well. And even though it seems as though we do not even get a chance to see each other sometimes, that does not change how we feel about each other. Weeks like this past week when we are both working, someone else is watching our children and we both come home just exhausted, we have less time together to talk and interact just due to the realities of life at the time.

So understand that it is okay if you have a season where your priorities have shifted a little bit. It is okay to have a time of your mind being so consumed with the needs of your children that you and your spouse do not get that quality time together.

Never let anyone tell you that you are wrong or have your priorities mixed up - as long as it is just for a season. As long as you get back to the way things should be, you will be fine. Take those moments when you get them with your spouse. Even as a SAHM, I have to find a way to balance everything. Which is stressful in itself at times. But we can all do it. We can support each other and help each other. If we can just get to where we take the times to do things in our lives that mean the most. Then we can be successful.

There are moments in life when I focus on my children. Times when I focus on my husband. Times when I focus on my career.

And that is okay. As long as I do not let my focus stay off my husband for too long and I always have God at the top.

The corruption will end...

I will be the first to admit that I do not follow politics.

I really just do not have the time to ensure I understand everything well enough to get into any conversations about it. And even though it is important to understand, it just bores me for the most part.

But every once in a while I do some reading & it quickly makes me realize why I do not get involved in politics on a regular basis. It really saddens me how far this country has come. How far from our founding fathers we have strayed. I really think that they would be so sad to see just how secular this country has come. & how God has been taken out of everything. How trusting God (or even saying His name) is spoken against & not allowed.

What really makes me think - wonder - ponder - is how can so many people be blinded by the truth? How so many Americans can think that all these corrupt activities are okay. That this crazy world is actually a good place to live. How has Satan blinded so many people to God? How is being a Christian is something no one can talk about? How have we as a society got to the place of having to be so "Politically Correct" & accommodate everyone, unless you are a Christian or talking about God.

It really saddens me that being a Christian is the minority...That my girls are growing up in a country that teaches tolerance to everyone- but Christians have to stay silent. A country that shoves your beliefs down my throat & does not allow me to have my own.

One thing is for sure - I will be voting this November. I will be making sure my voice is heard. I will show my girls that we can make a difference by doing our right as an American.

I just pray that people's eyes are opened to the truth. That they see the corruption in our country & vote to stop it. To make people accountable again for their actions.

We certainly can make America Great Again. & it starts now with prayer & Christians taking a stand.

Do not be afraid to stand up for God & His commands. You may stand alone for a few minutes but it will not last long.

Moving in...

It has been a crazy few weeks. We moved out of our house, the only house that our girls have ever known. Since our new house was not ready yet, we bunked with my parents for a couple of weeks. Then, when we finally closed on our new house, we moved in with just the girls beds, an air mattress for hubs & I, and not much else!

The first few days were interesting! We did not have much, but it was the best time. It was enjoyable to have the closeness with not a whole lot of stuff to get in the way of family time.

Moving all of our stuff was a very, very, very long day. But let me just say that we had so much help and that made things go a lot better. It was so great to see the love of so many people that were just wanting to help us, with nothing in return.

Unpacking... oh the unpacking... It is no fun! LoL One bag at a time. One box at a time. 

We are not even 1/2 way through the unpacking yet. But we are making progress.

It is a little humbling to see how much junk we have accumulated over the years. There are so many people who need things, and yet we have an abundance of stuff that we just do not need.

I am so very thankful we downsized on our house size. The whole family is so much happier since we have been here. The dogs included. We have just been able to really spend so much more time together as a family, which is something we were all longing for. 

Discovering the true meaning of family has been a memory that I could never explain. Every family needs to have the closeness that we have been discovering lately. 

Family is around. The girls have had more family around them lately than they have since they were born. It has been truly amazing to see family more. And plan things more often to keep more family around them, and us.

So hopefully now that things have settled down some I will be able to blog more often and keep ya'll up to date on everything!

Until then, Sincerely,
A Very Happy Girl

Still trusting God

Well, it has been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and talk about anything. Not sure if anyone has missed me or not, but I wanted to let you know that I am still here.

The move is still at a stand-still. We are waiting to close and are tentatively scheduled to do so tomorrow. Then that will give us two weeks to get everything out of our old house before we are set to close on that one. Which should be good enough I would think. Maybe. 

But it has taught me a lot about relaxing as much as I can. See, I have made myself just enjoy the time with my girls. Yes I still get stressed. Yes it is too much to handle some moments. Yes I still cannot wait on my husband to get home so that he can share in the parenting duties. But I have made myself relax throughout the day since there is so much about a move that you cannot control.

Somehow I have been getting less and less sleep every night though - which I am not sure how that is happening. Probably because the girls miss their beds & I miss them having their own rooms so they do not wake one another up. But this too I know is temporary and almost done. I am just so grateful that my parents have allowed us to shake up their lives for a couple weeks.

It is times like this when you really find out how strong your family is. I know that my family is not the normal family anymore (my parents are about to celebrate 38 years married!), but it is so wonderful to know that we have the love and support to get us through the trying times.

I have been thinking and wondering how others make this work if they do not have the support like we have been blessed with. It makes me realize that there will probably be a time or two in our future where we can be the help that someone else needs. That God will give us the opportunity to pay this hospitality forward to someone else.

Never stop looking for those moments when you can be that blessing that someone else needs. When you can help someone get through a tough moment in their life just as you have been helped through one yourself. I know there is a reason for everything, and hopefully this will be our last big move (since we have now done this too many times) that we have to go through... 

No matter how hard the days are and how much stress there is from organizing a sell, buy and move at the same time with different realtors, inspectors, mortgage companies and requirements... I know that God has had His hand in all of this and made it go so much more smoothly than I could have ever imagined. There is no way this would be happening at the speed and rate that it is without God having it all planned out from the start.

So when things look like they are too much to handle, or they just seem to be too hard or stressful, remember to turn to God and let Him handle the aspects that are just too much for us humans to deal with. He will do a much better job at it anyway!

Sincerely,
A Mom On The Move

A Temporary Home

What do you do when your life is turned upsidedown? You push through until you find your new normal! Hmmm - maybe that is too simple of an answer that does not logically work... Or maybe not. Maybe it is that simple.

Let me explain.

See, as I posted a few days ago, we have started moving. So we packed both cars full of clothes & necessities, got both dogs, both kids (plus me & hubs!), drove to my parents house... Unloaded (thanks to the help of my niece & nephew)... & set up camp.

Okay, so not really "camp" but you get the idea; right?

Now, majority of our stuff (the comforts of home) are still at our other house - the one we sold. We have our new house just sitting there, unable to get into yet (closing soon..........hopefully!), and now we have taken up residence at my parents house.

It is not easy. On any of us. Normally a house that has 2 adults and a dog now holds 4 adults, 2 young toddlers & 3 dogs! 😯 Yup. You read that all correctly!

Thankfully their house is big enough for us to not be stepping all over one another. Which is a definite blessing during this time of transition.

But now you have two families living under one roof. Two families who each have their own ways of doing things. Their own schedules & routines. Trying to combine everything they are used to into one big routine. And it is not easy. But it is what happens when you have family & they willingly help you out in your time of need.

Yes, the girls, dogs & I could have stayed at the house we sold for another few days, not seeing hubby at all during the week - but my parents graciously opened their home to us so we did not have to be separated.

That is what I mean by pushing through to find the new normal. This is only for a time. It is not a permanent change. It is just until we can get to close on our new house.

So while all of our lives have been turned upsidedown for the time being, this too shall change. Eventually we will separate our families again & get back to our own schedules & routines that each family is used to. But for now we will be grateful that we have a place to go. Somewhere the girls are comfortable going to. Somewhere they get to spend more time with family & enjoy knowing that their family is close by.

We can all do something for a season. For a temporary set of time. And I am so beyond blessed to have a family that is close to each other- allowing this move to be less stressful than it could be. Allowing our family to not be separated any more that is necessary.

So here's to family welcoming a family into their home, allowing us to disrupt their "normal" for a little bit & giving us the ability to make this needed change in our life to get out of the wilderness & back to family.

Sincerely,
A Grateful Daughter