Early last week I saw that there was an advertisement for Andi Dorfman's book that was coming out. Like many other stars of "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" she too had written a book and even though I have yet to read any of the other books, I was intrigued by this one. Enough that I bought it. Yup, I waited until Tuesday and got online and instantly had it on my iPad to start reading.
I was so excited. I had watched both seasons with her and felt like she was a very strong woman, who was set in her career and looking for Mr. Right to spend her nights with. I knew that she had broken up with Josh, whom she chose as her final suitor at the end. He even proposed to her! But, I knew that by the time the book came out, they were no longer a couple.
So when I saw the book, I thought "oh great - here are her behind the scenes information of what happened" which led me to purchase the book.
Boy oh boy was I wrong! WoW!
First of all, please forgive me for this Andi, but how did you ever graduate from Law School without being able to write? Now, I know I am not perfect. I know my writing is mostly just rambling on about this or that. I also am doing it on a blog. Not in a published book. She would jump from one subject to the next. Half the time I did not know where she was going or how she would get to the point. It was basically like reading a teenagers diary... {Sorry - the truth hurts...}
Next, she seemed like a very classy lady on her show. She stood up for herself and really seemed to have her life together [despite the fact that she had taken to a reality show in Hollywood to find "true love"]. But the amount of cussing and revenge in this book is just appalling. I mean, she uses cuss words just to use them sometimes. It was almost like she realized she did not have one on that page yet and had to throw one in! I was disgusted by her mouth. And the revenge.. Oh my. I mean, I have been through breakups before. They are not fun. They suck. But I have never ever BURNED an old flames stuff! Nor would I ever suggest that it was actually a healthy thing to do! Leave it in a box on his doorstep; have a friend take it to him; something, anything is better than burning it! This is a man she once agreed to marry, a man she was sharing a home with {before they were married.... do not get me started on that} and all she can think to do is to burn his stuff?
Another area that really bothers me was she acted as though she had a degree in psychology, not law. I was really put off by the fact that she was giving step by step guidelines on what to do next or how to go from one phase of the breakup to the next. I know, I know. I was not in her shoes. It has been years since my last breakup (thanks to the fact that I am happily married) so maybe I just do not get it. But when I went through breakups, and friends went through breakups, we both healed in different ways. So while yes, this was her story, she should have kept it as her story. Not a self-help guide to moving on. //Just my two cents - take it or leave it.//
One phrase she used was talking about how you should always "test drive a car before buying it"... Now if you understand that she was NOT talking about cars in the phrase, continue reading. This is what is wrong with the world today! God says that sex is for a MAN and WIFE! Not boyfriend and girlfriend; fiancés; friends; neighbors; who ever. It is for marriage. The fact that she tells people that they should basically sleep around until they are committed is crazy! Pure crazy.
I really thought this book would be more about her journey through both seasons of the hit show; but I was left very disappointed. She never even called Josh by name - I mean, come on girl, he was your fiancée and you cannot even use his name?
Why did I spend this time telling you about this book that you should by no means buy, read, contemplate renting, borrowing... none of that. It should never have been published. Harsh? Maybe, but I am so glad that I did not buy a hard copy of the book because I would not want it on my shelves.
I say all of that to say this... Ladies, we need to protect ourselves. There is so much trash out there in this world. So just that is trying to lead us in the ways of the world. If a non-Christian girl had read this, and thought this was the proper way to go through a breakup or the best way to act or carry yourself, then I would feel bad that they took Andi's poor advice. We need to be examples to other girls out there. Show them the way of the Lord. Do not let them go to girls like this for advice on how to live and react to situations that come our way.
Andi - if you ever read this - I hope you understand why I said what I did. I thought of you as sort of a roll model to girls until I read your book. I was so excited to see a career woman on this show and thought that it was a great example of how you can follow your dreams and still find love. But really, now I feel bad for you. I have been praying a lot for you. And I hope that you find what you are looking for in this life to be truly happy. {However - that true happiness will only come from knowing God and a personal relationship with Him....}
Please be cautious what you let your daughters watch and read. Please guard their hearts, minds, eyes, ears from the ways of the world. Do not let them fall into the trap that this world is laying and the lies that are being spread to look like truths. Keep them surrounded by God and His words so that when something contradicts God's truths, they know which is real.
Sincerely,
A Girl Who Will Choose Her Reading Material A Little More Cautiously Next Time
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